think nought a trifle, though it small appear; - Attn: rm -- we wish you'd been there to see the wonder

Attn: rm -- we wish you'd been there to see the wonder

Mar. 30th, 2009 at 11:25 PM

Childbirth class tonight. Beth and I are the only queer couple amongst a host of heterosexual couples, and while this is not a bad thing in and of itself, I think we may be the first pair of lesbians the teacher has ever had. I say this because there was a moment when the following dialogue approximately was had:

TEACHER
...prostaglandins are useful to bring on labor as well, and one of the ways to release those is during intercourse, having orgasms--

ALL OF US
*nod thoughtfully*

TEACHER'S BRAIN
Oh noes! I meant to be referring specifically to semen without having to actually SAY semen. Except I have lesbians here! I must be inclusive of them. How to address this...

TEACHER
*turns and smiles at us* And of course, even if you don't have a male partner, there are ways you can have the same sort of, um, release of these chemicals.

CASS AND BETH
PLEASE DO CONTINUE DISCUSSING OUR SEX LIVES IN FRONT OF THE CLASS THIS IS NOT AWKWARD AT ALL.

TEACHER
Different methods you can use to achieve the same ends...

CASS AND BETH
*die*

EVERYBODY ELSE
*sympathy death*

Aaagghh, it was so well-meant, and so incredibly painful to experience.

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

editrx wrote:

Mar. 31st, 2009 05:06 am (UTC)

Oh my. I know that sort of childbirth class very very well indeed. Did I ever tell you about the time I was the birth coach for my friend, Debbie, who decided to go ahead and have her kid on her own? (Which really has been a wonderful thing, but isn't pertinent here.) The childbirth class teacher decided all on her own that we were a lesbian couple. And she clearly had the same OMG-I-don't-know-how-to-include-the-lesbians moment over and over again. Oh god. The pain. ("O HAI U LESBIANS, I AM HERE TO EMBARRASS YOU IN FRONT OF THE CLASS 'CAUSE I MUST BE INCLUSIVE YET DO NOT KNOW HOW SO I WILL FLOUNDER LOUDLY.")

I feel embarrassed for you from afar. Oh dear.

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trifles wrote:

Mar. 31st, 2009 09:07 pm (UTC)

She isn't being snotty about it or feeling forced... she just has no clue. Aagh.

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batshua wrote:

Apr. 1st, 2009 04:53 am (UTC)

Do we get to hear awkward stories?

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beth_bernobich wrote:

Mar. 31st, 2009 12:50 pm (UTC)

*long-distance sympathy death*

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trifles wrote:

Mar. 31st, 2009 09:08 pm (UTC)

*flail*

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shrewreader wrote:

Mar. 31st, 2009 12:56 pm (UTC)

Erk? *nods* Erk. Yes, definitely erk.

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trifles wrote:

Mar. 31st, 2009 09:09 pm (UTC)

So much erk. So much.

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monkeyagent wrote:

Mar. 31st, 2009 05:11 pm (UTC)

See, if you named your first-born "Jonathan", none of this would have happened.

I, on the other hand, plan to avoid such classes altogether by perfecting my instant cloning process.

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